Before we get going… This is my rant about Skype’s emoticons and a solution I found to avoid the assault on we men who just want to use the good old emoticons without the social cues ;>)
And if you take any of this seriously and find this offensive… Well… I guess you need to read that annoying First Amendment and deal with it. But I digress, We must visit the object of my annoyance and why I’m writing this…
It all started one day when I went to send a smiley face on Skype’s chat.
I went to the usual menu and BAM! My eyes were treated to a strange sight of an increasingly common thing.
Skype implemented a POLITICALLY CORRECT social programming experience because the good folks at Skype are absolutely SURE I want to see these useless icons that I NEVER will use! No self-respecting Alpha or even Beta male will willingly use these! Trust me Redmond!
Their “featured” icon set is a blatantly PC collection of symbols that I, as a typical red-blooded male, will never use. And then they have some new Star Wars set of emoticons below the featured icon set that I would guess are some muted nod of the head to we men who are irritated at the PC menu being feature front-and-center. Frankly, I’ve never used them and I prefer the older and simpler menu that was direct and to the point with no social-cue programming smoothly slid into place to let me as a man know my place.
Before you feminists drag out your bushcraft knives to skewer me, I’m all about equal pay for the ladies for the same job we do and giving anyone, no matter what race, creed or sexual orientation a shot at doing a job or being themselves, but I also think continually pushing men down as an attempt to “correct” past wrongs is a wrong unto itself. The old saying “Two wrongs don’t make a right” applies here.
If you believe in equality so much, practice it and give EVERYONE equal billing.
Hey Skype! Got a message for you! I don’t use your service to do chats because I want a social programming lesson EVERY SINGLE time I go to send an emoticon. This is a messaging service, not your social conditioning experiment! Wouldn’t it make more sense just to give a menu without all the politically correct symbols or to provide controls that are man friendly AND woman friendly AND whatever friendly so everyone can have the experience they like?
The bald faced truth of this new Skype experience is that in a significant number of these emoticon menus as you traverse the bottom menu, you run smack into this one-sided view of things with nary a male presence to be seen in the list of emoticons.
Face it guys… There is no room for us in Skype-Emoticon-land. And there is no chance in hell that we’ll ever be heard there in Redmond because it is clear we’re the second class citizens in all of this grand experiment at removing men from everything that counts.
We’re on our own guys. So like Rambo does when in a critical situation, we react by doing what must be done ;>)
So – I poked around and found a couple of solutions.
I found that the little clock menu to the left of the smiley face menu has what appears to be the most heavily used icons and it a quick and sweet way to avoid the “PC menu” and reclaim some of our manly world-view. And since, most of the time, we’re using Skype to talk with our significant other, the love-language icons are the ones to appeal to the one-we-love and we get around those irritating PC icons.
It is a simple matter to have this menu on your desktop, ready to go so you can avoid the PC programming from your helpful friends at Skype and get the menu choice you want! Look at the huge selection, completely free of social conditioning cues!
So guys, I hope you like these two solutions I have found.
And Skype… We love your IM service. Really… We do. But remember, there are a lot of men out there and we just want a good experience and not to be completely dissed every time we go to use your emoticons. We won’t hold our breath for a fix, but we will find ways to ignore your social cue programming. Like Rambo and Gunny Sargent Highway, we will adapt, overcome and improvise.
Isn’t a Democratic Republic like ours a wonderful thing?
Rock on guys… I need to go watch my “Man Show” DVD set now…